We say hi-hi! and we say bye-bye!

I walked into the Palace of the Golden Arches to order my favorite anti-vegan meal of two stout Egg McMuffins and a side order of high-density lipoprotein to go. Had no sooner crossed through the door when I was greeted by one of its patrons, lazily flopping back and forth in a plastic high-chair.

Hiiiiiiiiii!!!!, she screamed, clutching a half-eaten hash-brown square in one hand and waving furiously at me with the other. Her all-too-wise siblings rolled their eyes at their sister's spontaneous greeting. Mom and Dad just grinned and let it go.

So, I responded appropriately, doing a huge hand swoop and shouting back, Hiiiiiii to you, too!!!! I went to the counter, placed my order and waited. Behind me, the shrill voice greeted a couple as they stepped into the eatery. I paid the bill and started to walk out with my sack of fat.

Bye-Byeeeee!!!, the happy voice came back at me as I passed by her table. In my best cartoonish grandpa vernacular I repeated her sweet benediction. 

Somehow, the rest of the workday seemed to go a little better.

That was a nice contrast compared to an encounter occurring a few days before at store where people in blue vests tell you hello and goodbye. Some with great gusto; others with all the emotion of voicemail prompts you get when paying a bill. It was one of the common situations when you’re standing in the “20 items or less” line and it becomes all too obvious the folks ahead of you probably did not do well on the math portion of their SATs.

Just ahead of me, a boy – probably no more three-years-old – kept leaning sideways, this way and that, to stare at me. I assume it was my jaunty, Fender guitar cap that caught his eye. More likely, it was the zombie 1000-yard stare I tend to get while waiting for the clerk to get a price check on a disputed charge for a can of Pringles.

But the trance momentarily broke and I locked eyes with the kid. Instinctively, I bulged my eyes like hard-boiled eggs and flapped my fleshy beak like that stupid AFLAC duck. It got a rise out of the boy and he giggled. Did it again and he began to roar into hiccupping laughter and waved at me.

Mom whirled around and glared at me, the elegant Harley-Davidson tattoo logo above her carotid artery bulging. Then, she quickly turned on the boy and got into his face. Tol’ ya before not to talk to strangers and bother people you don’t know!! Now cut it out! The lad looked like he had just been stung by a dozen bumble-bees.

In reality, I believe she really was talking to me. I found it all rather sad, not only for me and the youngster, but more so, for the Mom. Sorry to say, that’s largely the world we live in any more.

True enough, much of our society lives in fear when it comes to our children. And for good reason: Predators trolling the Internet for youngsters and the like. And there’s not a day goes by when punks like Penn State pervert coach Jerry Sandusky and other so-called men and women of respect leading social, religious and other groups are “outed” for their crimes.

I believe in the rule of law and due process, but I am not confident I would have the wherewithal to cling to that notion if such instances occurred closer to my world,

In a larger sense, I feel sorry for that little guy in the cart. He is growing up in a world which, increasingly, warns us against interacting with people we do not know and even with some of those we do know. This is particularly and dismally ironic in an era where many choose to “communicate” via text messages, e-mail and other immediate social media with absolute strangers next door and around the world. 

Yet, many protectors of the young think nothing of putting up every weakness, failure, awkward situation and every base stupidity into a post – sometimes with a photo or video.

But I take some satisfaction in grinning parents who remind their kiddos that strangers are just like them, only with different human masks and varying voices. Nothing to fear. 

Give me a hearty Hiiiiiii!!! and Bye-byyyeeee!!! any time, all of you little and big strangers. I am glad to send them back your way.