Road rage at a Speedway

I GUESS THE EVER-ESCALATING and unpredictable prices at the gas pumps is not only exasperating to most of us, but a phenomenon that spurs some of the worst in us.

I recently made that observation while pulling into a Speedway gas station on Indy’s south side. As I nosed into the area from a side entrance a couple of fellows nearly stepped into my path. I made the slick decision to proceed, judging that they were not in imminent danger of any kind. I mouthed a quick “sorry” to them, gave them both a gentle wave of contrition, and eased into a spot .

As I started to walk into the building to pre-pay my several pounds of flesh for petroleum, I heard some twangy voice behind me in a redneck loudly sputtering in angry Daffy Duck sort of way.

Stoopeed sumbitch wach’ya think ya doin? Ya cudda kilt us back there you dumbazz!  I gazed back and looked my accuser.  

Faith, future and adios, enemigo

FOR MORE THAN A DECADE, his countenance has been circulated widely in the news. A tall, gaunt fellow wearing robes whose face could have been a model for an El Greco painting: A somewhat wistful and gentle look on his long face, a flowing prophetic beard and an ambivalent eye gazing back at the world. He almost always accessorized for these images with an automatic weapon cradled lovingly in his arms.

We are still learning of the particulars and while for a long time coming never will, but there’s a global sigh today that there his living visage will appear. Well, perhaps, for those zany folks who believe there’s a conspiracy in every haystack? He is gone and good riddance. And I am not in a position to offer any judgment suggesting his soul rest in peace.

When I heard the news late last night on NPR’s coverage of our president’s speech while lying in bed and slouching toward sleep, I could only mumble, Good!

After many intelligence-gathering and high level meetings a decision was made several hours before. He’s likely in this fortress bordered by allied Pakistan friends. Let’s get him.

And so it happened and swift. A team of Navy SEALs assembled and the procedure began with nonpareil surgical precision. I’m an Army vet, but I give the “swabbies” their due: In the end, the murderer and a few of his accomplices – including one”braveheart” who forced a woman ahead of him who took the first bullet – all died. A fair fight, far more than these thugs have plotted.

Then I finally fell into sleep slipped into a gentler realm.

Early in the morning I did my patriotic duty and entered a few snarky comments on Facebook. Then let it go.