Deliberate acts of courtesy

In his foreword to “Jailbird,” the late author Kurt Vonnegut wrote about a young Hoosier reader of his books.

“…John Figler is a law-abiding high-school student. He says in his letter that he has read almost everything of mine and is now prepared to state the single idea that lies at the core of my life's work so far. The words are his: "Love may fail, but courtesy will prevail. This seems true to me--and complete. So I am now in the abashed condition, five days after my fifty-sixth birthday, of realizing that I needn't have bothered to write several books. A seven-word telegram would have done the job. Seriously…”

Think or say what you will about Vonnegut, his politics, his beliefs and his leanings, but the kid who dashed off that note might have re-shaped a cornerstone of assurance for the great Hoosier author – and a simple homily to us all: Just be decent to one another.

I can recall a few recent instances.

Why was it necessary for that old woman at the Speedway to call the clerk “stupid” when he was not moving fast enough to juggle her 20-plus lottery combination tickets and a carton of cut-rate smokes? He politely and with some slight embarrassment seemed to take in stride as our small audience who looked elsewhere and pretended not to hear. Guess he gets this kind of treatment on a regular basis.  

How about the young couple who stared through the blue-vested Wal-Mart guy when he grinned, wished them a good morning and thanked them for visiting. Hey, it’s not the greatest gig in town, but it’s his job, and he looked like he enjoyed it. A veritable invisible man. They blew past him faster than a schoolkid departing for summer vacation.

How about that teenager having trouble getting his battered car out of the turn lane and looking desperately for help? Ten sets of car horns blaring, especially when a few hopped out to try and help the hapless kid get his jalopy pushed out of the way.

No good deed goes unpunished, as it often has been said.

Yet, I also had occasion to witness a shinier side of what makes us human. My little amigo, who for years has greeted me with knuckle-punches and a pumpkin grin when I plug in my guitars for the contemporary service at my church, The soft grasp of hands with a dear friend. The undeserved hugs from my grandkids who roll their eyes at my goofyisms.

And how about another old lady who held the door open for me at the Dollar General on that Saturday morning when I wheeled out some cut-rate fall decorations and a few other mundane purchases – while I clenched a Three Musketeers in the corner of my mouth as tightly as a Chicago alderman chomping a cigar.

“Ain’t it a great time of year?” she remarked.

Indeed. It is,ma'am, thank you very much. Forget random acts of kindness, though they have their occasional uses.

Give me deliberate acts of courtesy and decency because they last so much longer. Simple courtesy always prevails.